In the lead up to Mother's Day, we wanted to celebrate Mum's. We caught up with Meisha Kimber to hear about how her relationship with bed and sleep changed, what surprised her about motherhood, advice for to-be mums, and how her family will be spending this Mother's Day.
How has relationship with bed/sleep has changed since motherhood?
Sleep is precious! In the early days I would breastfeed a lot in bed so I’d need a tonne of pillows and to be really comfortable, now that our boy is in his own room, our bed feels like an escape. I find myself wanting to go to bed early just to chill and read with a cup of tea. Then on the weekends we love getting Rémy up and bringing him into bed with us for a coffee and some reading (but also just some mindless scrolling) while be babbles away. Our dog Melo is usually curled up on the end of the bed too so lucky we have a big comfy super king.
What can we currently find on your nightstand?
A big stack of books and magazines (with the overflow in a pile on the floor in front), a Menu Carrie lamp, my notebook, a little wooden ring holder my friend brought back from Japan and a mug from either my morning coffee or bedtime tea. Usually I start one book, read a few chapters then start another depending on my mood. Currently I’m reading Grit (by Angela Duckworth), flicking through the interior designer Ilse Crawford’s book A Frame for Life, and studying Milk to Meals as we’re just starting the solids journey with Rémy.
I’ve also got a shelf above my clothing rack (previously from a friend’s retail store) which has my P&B eye mask, some more magazines and books and another portable brass lamp.
Tell us what has surprised you about motherhood..
It’s probably more amazing than I thought it would be, I feel like it has expanded capacity for everything. I think I imagined or told myself it was going to be extremely hard, that I would be constantly exhausted with a crying baby etc, but it’s been so much more enjoyable than that, I think I’m lucky I have a pretty chill, easygoing baby who’s a relatively good sleeper.
But also I think my perspective has definitely changed after losing our first daughter Olive at 3 weeks old (in very unexpected and quite traumatic circumstances). My motherhood journey has felt quite stop-start, being a mum to her for 3 beautiful weeks, then losing her and feeling so in shock, grief-stricken and really quite lost for a period. We got pregnant again around 5 months after she passed so when Rémy was born (although initially very anxiety-inducing) I settled back into motherhood and felt a huge sense of purpose and content to have a healthy, happy baby.
AM to PM, tell us what your perfect Mother’s Day looks like.
Wake up and get Rémy up after he’s slept all night (haha, wishful thinking), coffee and reading in bed, a walk with our dog in the sun. Eating out at one of our favourite cafés, maybe a massage or a facial while Remy hangs with his dad, maybe a spot of shopping! Followed by another nice meal and no protesting at bed time. I’m lucky that this is quite similar to my recent birthday last week (with the exception of the massage) In reality it’ll hopefully be along these lines but will also include a visit to my mum, nana and mother-in-law too.
Advice for mums and mums-to-be?
Know that whatever you’re feeling, whatever your experience of motherhood is, it’s unique and your own. Try to enjoy it as best as you can without comparing, because no two journeys are the same. Especially these days with social media it can be so easy to fall into the comparison trap and feel like you’re somehow doing it wrong or that everyone else is having the most amazing experience with perfect children when in reality there’s no one path and everyone has hard days.
Also I’m such a researcher so I researched absolutely everything to do with pregnancy but then when it came to motherhood I felt a bit too overwhelmed with all the information so have avoided google and endless mum content on Instagram, and just stuck to a few highly recommended books, podcasts and my intuition. So yes I think maybe try to trust your intuition with a lot of things as only you know your baby best.
What’s something your mum always says?
I’m struggling to think of one specific thing she says, but she’s always been so supportive, encouraging, and comes from a long line of very stoic, capable and creative women who I always aspire to be like. Almost an attitude of ‘you can do hard things’ and calm reassurance.
